This
entry will tell you about someone in the past, the first to “last long”. Why do
I put those quotation mark? Because when I say last long, others might say “its
just a couple of months”. I just don’t understand, a couple of months seems to
be a long time for me, but why is it so short for others…maybe I came from a
different dimension where the time goes slower.
Anyway,
lets not name anyone that involved in my post. So I was on my 7th or
8th grade maybe, I forgot, but somehow I get to know with this woman(even
though she wasn’t a woman yet I prefer to call all female by “woman”, so don’t
complain) which is still on 6th grader or maybe 5th, don’t ask me
how, got a bad memories so I totally forgot how I know her.
I am my
self is still confused about my judgement about others that time. When others
said she was “okay”, “not that pretty”, or even “kinda ugly”, that’s not how I
see her. Somehow I see her as a cute, kind, smart, and attractive woman so I
want to know more, I always do maybe that’s how we got together after a few
weeks or days or I don’t know how long of getting closer to each other.
She was
a very caring person, from my judgement she cared a lot about me, still that
was a beginning of a realitionship, almost every person would be so too at the
beginning right? As we went through days together we got closer, we cared about
each other a lot, we even cared about each other’s family. But it seemed that she
valued me so much that she was kinda overly attached. When I got colder as in
talking, she might just cried and said that I didn’t care anymore, and when I
didn’t reply her messages she would said the same thing.
Anyway,
imma tell you about her life a bit. Her father already passed away when i got
together with her, so it was her mom left, and her mom married someone and she
then have a step father. She didn’t like her step father very much cause she
still can’t accept her new father or something like that. She changed bit by
bit since that, not that it is bad, however it’s a part of puberty , right? She
followed the trend of shuffle dancing that time, as she did her friends changed
to, after a while her mother passed away too, all left is her sister to take
care of her. Her mother passing shook her so much she changed kinda a lot, she
became suicidal and stuff like that.
The change
also included that she become over protective and over attached even more. So I
had this “friend”, a woman, she was nice, kind, fun, and stuff. I think I was
bored with my woman, cause I start to look for another. The friendship with
this new woman got closer and closer but
I still thought that we were just bestfriend while my woman said that I have
an affair, because of I still take the new woman as a bestfriend I started to
take it that my woman just didn’t like my new friend. It was like that she
forbid me to be friend with someone, that’s when I thought “shit, you have no
power over me, I decide what I can or cant do my self”. I didn’t know I was
wrong and kinda into the new friend, and then I left my woman. i was mean, maybe still am, who knows...
Well, that’s the
end of my first entry, so many flaw, sowwy, cause I just start all these
writing stuff. Have a nice day lol.
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